A Father's Invitation
Gifts from Dad
The recent passing of my dad has left me feeling quiet, tender and mostly operating in first gear - moving slowly and mindfully as waves of memories move through my being along with the array of feels and the deep well of emotion that comes with losing one of the most meaningful and impactful relationships in my life.
My very first love. My playmate. My confidant. My coach. My idol. My friend. My cheerleader. My inspiration. My go-to. My music man. The legend. The shoulder to lean on. The comedian. The support. The king of sport trivia. The man in action. The man with the plan. The bedrock of our family. My dad.
How to articulate? How to express bearing witness to his piercing transition and passing? How to conjure any sensible utterance? How to declare the myriad of imprints that he impressed upon my being - the man who knew me from the first breaths. The human I have adored my entire life. How to navigate heart break? Monumental loss?
Perhaps the unfolding will present in the passing of time. In this moment of delicate vulnerability and watery eyes, I can reveal one of the many gifts my dad, knowingly and unknowingly shared with his youngest - a tiny mischievous human that he helped birth into the madness of this unpredictable world.
Yep, it starts like this: circa early 70s…
During the car ride home, after spending family time at grandma’s house. Wait, wait, hold up. Dramatic pause and historical context preamble: as a tiny human under 4’ I was wiggly and giggly. A self proclaimed oracle narrator on numerous topics. A tenacious chatter box at times. A rambunctious entertainer. A zealous mover, a high octane squirmer and an easily excitable, enthusiastic, exuberant ‘lil being. I packed a lot into an ‘almost’ 48” inches. Sure - parents love that sort of thing if it actually came with an off switch.
Back to grandma’s & the road ahead: that evening on the way home from grandma’s, I was lighting up the backseat with chatter and general overt fidgeting. In the latter hour, I would imagine much to all’s displeasure. From the driver’s seat, dad interjected with: “Kristi, look. Look, do you see the moon?” Uh, yes. Yes! I sure did - big, bright and built into the night sky. “Kristi, watch it is going to follow us ALL the way home - watch.”
I gazed at the moon with wonder, transfixed, in SILENCE (well done dad!) - peering out the window as the remarkable moon magically guided us down the road. Sure enough, it was happening! I was obsessed and SPEECHLESS (again, well done dad) as it followed us along the hushed pathway home, ALL the way back to our house. Tiny human, dazzled. My ‘lil being: How miraculous! How magical! Equally impressive, how did he know!?
Dad pulled the car into the evening driveway ending our moon journey, most likely joyed and relieved from a muted and peaceful ride home. I popped out of the car astonished and joyfully proclaimed: “Dad, it did, it did, it followed us!” I received a wink and a knowing dad smirk. Now, his youngest, forever enamored and memorized by this celestial beauty from above.
My dad’s gamble and a chess player’s move for a respite from the noise.
A father’s invitation and a lifetime gift - thus began my love affair with this gorgeous orb floating in the sky, a connection and amazement embedded deep in my heart.
A place where my memory falls upon him. ~Kristi Lee
Follow @mysticheartbeats on Instagram for more sound offerings and inspirations
Stay connected, sign-up for Mystic Heart’s newsletter